Everyone man has wondered how to understand women at one point or another. Almost as many have given up trying. Make no mistake about it, though, you can understand women — it’s not a fool’s errand. Here are few tips on how to understand women in your life better, as well as the women that you meet anywhere.
Step 1: Understand That All Women Are Different
The first thing that you need to understand in learning how to understand women is that not all women are the same. Sure, there are some things that many of them have in common, but each woman is an individual. If you try and judge one woman by the behavior of another, you’re going to have a bad time. Since we want to have a good time, it’s important to try and understand each woman in her own way.
Step 2: Understand That Women Are Not Men
Another thing that you need to understand is that you will not understand women that you are interested in in the same way that you understand men that you are friends with. Men and women are different creatures — socially, biologically and in other ways. If you try to interact with her like she’s a man in a dress, it’s not going to work out for you and you’re never going to understand her.
Step 3: Pay Attention to Her Words
So how are you going to understand her? Well, the first way toward how to understand women is by listening to what she has to say. All too often men talk and wait for their turn to speak rather than really listening. What you need to do to understand her is pay attention to her. Not only will she tell you a lot about herself, but the things that she chooses to speak about will also tell you a lot about her.
Step 4: Pay Attention to Her Actions
It’s an old but very true expression: Actions speak louder than words. If you really want to understand who a woman is rather than who she wants you to think that she is, you need to watch what she does. In any point that there’s a discrepancy between the things that she says and the things that she does, you need to trust her actions more than her words.
Step 5: Ask Her Questions
And, of course, asking her a lot of questions is one of the best ways to understand her. Any time that you have trouble understanding something about her, that’s the time to ask her questions. It doesn’t have to be because you’re confused about something she’s already said or done: It can just be an area of her life that you want to understand better and learn more about.
1. Recognize that women want to feel connected.
Women want to make sure the relationship is on solid ground. After a period of separation (even a day apart), establish that closeness as soon as you can, and everything afterward will flow more freely. This doesn't mean you have to put your own needs completely on hold. For example, if you come home exhausted from a long day at work and your partner wants to talk, trying saying, “I'm so glad to see you. I missed you and wondering how your day was going. I want to hear all about it, but I'm tired right now. I need a few minutes to unwind and relax. Can we talk in 15 minutes?”
2. Don't jump in the problem – solving mode.
If you're not sure what your partner needs at any given moment, it's okay to ask her. You might say, “It sounds like you're really upset. Would you like me to listen, or would you like some suggestions?”
3. If your partner is less interested in
sex than you are, try a little empathy.
Instead of taking the rejection personally and pressuring her for more frequent sex, consider the possible reasons for the discrepancy and desire – reasons that may have nothing to do with you. Be sensitive to issues from the past as well as your partner’s general frame of mind. Is your partner a survivor of sexual abuse? Were there
traumas in her past that make physical intimacy frightening for her?
4. Think about how much work your partner does.
Is she frequently exhausted? If she works outside the home, how much responsibility do you assume for cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, and childcare? I remember a cartoon with the heading, “What do women want?” The drawing depicted a woman vacuuming; in the bubble above her head, there was a man vacuuming. Brainstorm with your partner to figure out how you can reduce her workload.
5. Allow your partner to voice her fears, and support her in her efforts to face difficult situations. Women feel empowered by their significant relationships; your caring attitude will contribute to your partner’s success in attaining her goals. She doesn't need you to talk her out of her fear, or solve her problems: she just wants you to listen and understand.
6. Understand that communication is a process.
Look at communication problems as an invitation to keep on talking, keep on listening, and eventually work things out. You and your partner may communicate very differently, but the potential is still there to reach even higher levels of
understanding interest.
Step 1: Understand That All Women Are Different
The first thing that you need to understand in learning how to understand women is that not all women are the same. Sure, there are some things that many of them have in common, but each woman is an individual. If you try and judge one woman by the behavior of another, you’re going to have a bad time. Since we want to have a good time, it’s important to try and understand each woman in her own way.
Step 2: Understand That Women Are Not Men
Another thing that you need to understand is that you will not understand women that you are interested in in the same way that you understand men that you are friends with. Men and women are different creatures — socially, biologically and in other ways. If you try to interact with her like she’s a man in a dress, it’s not going to work out for you and you’re never going to understand her.
Step 3: Pay Attention to Her Words
So how are you going to understand her? Well, the first way toward how to understand women is by listening to what she has to say. All too often men talk and wait for their turn to speak rather than really listening. What you need to do to understand her is pay attention to her. Not only will she tell you a lot about herself, but the things that she chooses to speak about will also tell you a lot about her.
Step 4: Pay Attention to Her Actions
It’s an old but very true expression: Actions speak louder than words. If you really want to understand who a woman is rather than who she wants you to think that she is, you need to watch what she does. In any point that there’s a discrepancy between the things that she says and the things that she does, you need to trust her actions more than her words.
Step 5: Ask Her Questions
And, of course, asking her a lot of questions is one of the best ways to understand her. Any time that you have trouble understanding something about her, that’s the time to ask her questions. It doesn’t have to be because you’re confused about something she’s already said or done: It can just be an area of her life that you want to understand better and learn more about.
1. Recognize that women want to feel connected.
Women want to make sure the relationship is on solid ground. After a period of separation (even a day apart), establish that closeness as soon as you can, and everything afterward will flow more freely. This doesn't mean you have to put your own needs completely on hold. For example, if you come home exhausted from a long day at work and your partner wants to talk, trying saying, “I'm so glad to see you. I missed you and wondering how your day was going. I want to hear all about it, but I'm tired right now. I need a few minutes to unwind and relax. Can we talk in 15 minutes?”
2. Don't jump in the problem – solving mode.
If you're not sure what your partner needs at any given moment, it's okay to ask her. You might say, “It sounds like you're really upset. Would you like me to listen, or would you like some suggestions?”
3. If your partner is less interested in
sex than you are, try a little empathy.
Instead of taking the rejection personally and pressuring her for more frequent sex, consider the possible reasons for the discrepancy and desire – reasons that may have nothing to do with you. Be sensitive to issues from the past as well as your partner’s general frame of mind. Is your partner a survivor of sexual abuse? Were there
traumas in her past that make physical intimacy frightening for her?
4. Think about how much work your partner does.
Is she frequently exhausted? If she works outside the home, how much responsibility do you assume for cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, and childcare? I remember a cartoon with the heading, “What do women want?” The drawing depicted a woman vacuuming; in the bubble above her head, there was a man vacuuming. Brainstorm with your partner to figure out how you can reduce her workload.
5. Allow your partner to voice her fears, and support her in her efforts to face difficult situations. Women feel empowered by their significant relationships; your caring attitude will contribute to your partner’s success in attaining her goals. She doesn't need you to talk her out of her fear, or solve her problems: she just wants you to listen and understand.
6. Understand that communication is a process.
Look at communication problems as an invitation to keep on talking, keep on listening, and eventually work things out. You and your partner may communicate very differently, but the potential is still there to reach even higher levels of
understanding interest.
Nice write up
ReplyDelete